The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
