I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize