When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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