hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
