don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
