Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
