It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize