do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
