hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
