I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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