just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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