hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
