we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
