saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
my phone needs a breathalizer
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
