I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize