Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Randomize
