Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Is her dick bigger than yours?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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