I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You ruined the universe
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
