In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
