Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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