And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
