Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
