either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
3pm strippers are depressing
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
