I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
