Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
