the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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