He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
