Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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