Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
