things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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