A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
