If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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