I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
