Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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