hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
