Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
i need some magic done to my vagina
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
