You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
