i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
What drink are we having for lunch?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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