Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
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