I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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