have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
