you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
