When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
