Me. At least after what I've been through.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
