Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
