problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
