There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
