i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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