Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
