yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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