i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Just puked most of my soul out..
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
