I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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