We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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