I want to make a zoo with you.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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