i think my tv is drunk
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize