Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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