I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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