I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
